Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Reviewing Self

At least once a day we need to look within ourselves and do a thorough review of who we are, how we are functioning, what our focus is, and what we want to create in our lives. I have been doing this little self-test for most of my adult life and I never cease to be amazed at how good it makes me feel to know who I am, where I am going, how I want to get there, and how much time it is going to take for me to meet my goals. We should do frequent reviews to make certain that we are following the path that works for us and that is going to make us feel good about what we do. One thing that I have learned is that we cannot always depend upon the amount of money that we make as the token of our success. I find it more encouraging to look at the lives that I touch and help along my journey, than to look at the bottom line in terms of money return. This is not necessarily a smart way to do business, but it is a way to help people who are not in the highest income bracket of life. There is also a great deal of satisfaction in seeing a face light up because their pain has left their body.

The joy of my life is my nervous system. When I say this most people look at me as though I have just declared my death warrant, but it is more like a life warrant than anything else could ever be. When I was a child I had rheumatic fever very badly, which didn’t even begin to subside until several months after I had a tonsillectomy (at 16). When I was a child there was no penicillin or any other drug to treat Strep Throat, which was considered to be the primary cause of rheumatic fever at the time. The theory must have been correct because the entire concept of rheumatic fever is only a memory today in civilized countries rather than a childhood epidemic. Having my tonsils out literally changed my life and allowed me to run, walk, play, and work without intense pain. Learning to live without the severe pain always being present in my joints and in my body was a revelation to me.

I had always wanted to be a nurse. When I was two years old I told my parents that when I grew up I was going to be a nurse. They were stunned because they could not understand where or how I learned the word nurse. In addition, they looked at their sick child that was always on the verge of death and wondered where and how I could ever be well enough to pursue being a “nurse,” while I was deathly sick with rheumatic fever. It was confusing to them to have me speak about something that was foreign to my experience and age at the time, especially in the relationship that I verbalized in how to relate it to an adult life and the concept of health. That was my beginning declaration into the concept of making nursing my chosen career. I never faltered in my intention, and happily I fulfilled my own challenge in May 1951. It was not always easy, but in relationship to the pain that I had experienced in my early life, I was now living essentially a “pain-free” life.

Later I learned how controversial pain can be. My level of pain was simply my level of pain which I learned to tolerate and to grow within. Later in my life, when I became essentially pain-free, I could not believe the divine difference between agony and pleasure. How can anyone equate that difference without living it?

My Life: Conquering Pain

I was born knowing what pain is. I lived with pain from infancy, 1930, until 1992. When anyone lives in pain as long as I have lived in pain, you develop an intimacy with the pain that allows you to ignore the pain for more exciting moments in your life. I was born on October 13, 1930 and from infancy until 1992 I lived with a dramatic level of pain. Pain expanded my motivation of life. I found myself doing many things that I might not have tackled otherwise, simply to force my body into a higher level of activity. I announced to my parents when I was two years old that I was going to be a nurse. Neither one of my parents could understand how I knew the word nurse, let alone created the motivation to stress myself even further. My primary pain was the result of rheumatic fever which was common in America when I was a child. I never spent a day or a night without overwhelming pain that literally wracked my body. My parents took me to every Doctor in town, hoping that one of them would have an answer, but in the 1930s there was no answer for rheumatic fever.

When I was six years old (1936) a new doctor moved into our hometown and I was taken to see him. I will never forget this big, rough-as-a-cobb man with his red hair, because he made me bend my legs and arms, he made me touch my toes, and twist my spine. The pain was incredible, but even at my youthful age I knew that the pain made me feel better over time. He was relentless in his instructions. He had my parents order oranges by the bushel, which were then shipped to our home from Florida by Rural Route Delivery. He instructed me on being conscious of my pain, where it traveled, and how I felt afterwards. He taught me a method of compression to deal with my acute and unbearable pain. He began to treat me with cod liver oil to supplement my diet of fresh oranges and fresh farm foods, and he made me walk, run, and jump as though I had no pain. In time, I began to feel better and I became capable of walking the four miles to our country school.

This doctor looked very large to me at six years old, and later I realized that he looked large because he was large, probably well over 6 feet tall with red hair and a no-nonsense attitude that made me active even when my pain was intense and I wanted to cry. His name was Dr. Logan and he had been an Army Doctor prior to moving to Salem, Illinois. He taught me more about the nervous system and the pain that could be generated by the nervous system than any other physician in my young life. He taught me about muscles, nerves, bones, and flesh in his gruff and no-nonsense manner. He would pick up my inflamed and swollen legs and arms and he would make me bend my joints and use my muscles. I would cry, but he never gave up and he never showed even one ounce of pity for me. He made me live with the pain and activate my body with the same intensity that I am sure he would have used with a healthy child.

It was Dr. Logan that gave me my first lesson in the nervous system and what the nervous system meant to us as human beings. He taught me to “think health” and to look beyond pain. He would tell me about the growth of my body and how it affected the intense pain that I was living. I lived with chronic pain because I was living with a streptococcus infection that had no cure at that time in the history of medicine. When I was sixteen, I reached the golden age where they allowed me to take “drip Ether” for a tonsillectomy to remove my streptococcal-infected tonsils. This was a gigantic step forward in restoring my health, which was dangerous but accepted as I had a goal of getting into Nursing School when I graduated from high school.

During the fifteen plus years that I was a patient of Dr. Logan’s, I learned about our physical body, its bones, ligaments, muscles, nerves, blood vessels and the pain that a streptococcal infection could cause in my body. From the age of 16 to 18, my focus was on healing my physical body so that I would be accepted into nursing school. Those painful years of my life taught me much more than I could ever have learned if I were healthy. Most importantly I learned that healing is possible, and when we can will ourselves out of pain, we certainly have a more positive choice of healing ourselves and being capable of living a healthy life. At the age of eighteen I applied to St. Vincent de Paul in Indianapolis, Indiana to attend their Nursing Program and I was healed and I was accepted.

Dr. Logan probably taught me more about my body and its capabilities during my youth than any Doctor had before or has since. It was an invaluable lesson that lives with me today. He taught me most of all how to cope with and to deal with intense pain by recognizing what was happening in my body at any given time. He taught me to be consciously aware of my brain, my lungs, my heart, all of my nervous system, my blood system, my kidneys, my boney structure, plus every other organ in my brain and body. From that initial focus of learning about the multiple organs and systems in our body, I was hooked. I wanted to know more, much more, and therefore I did. When I graduated from Nursing School, I followed my heart and went into Tuberculosis research. After this nursing stint I took time off to have six beautiful children. When I returned to work in my late 30's and early 40's I spent many years learning the intricacies of Nursing and Hospital Administration, before I began my second career in research. This time the research was focused on the HLA and DNA as it was being discovered through organ transplant.

In 1984 I quit working in transplant and decided that I would work with clients on my own. Since I was a small child and very sick, I had become intensely aware of the energy that lives in each of us as human beings. When I worked as a nurse I was always in touch with the energy as it left a person’s body, and I liked the sense it gave me. This was a very intense energy feeling that I had also experienced when I went with my parents to visit the “dead.” During my years in hospital nursing, I had always been fully aware of the energy leaving a person’s body. Since I was very conscious of the energy within the human body, I taught myself to work with this energy field to better understand death and dying, as well as the overall energy field that seemed to always leave the body of the dead.

As I worked with this energy I found that the energy would listen intensely to me and would many times follow my suggestions to the letter. This prompted me to begin working closely with the energy itself through interactive communication. I was very pleased with the results that I discovered, which prompted me to see if I could heal different diseases in the body by using the person’s own internal energy. The more that I worked with the internal energy, the more successful I became in making the changes that I could see needed to be made. In time I began to address very serious diseases such as cancer with a great deal of success. The secret to healing diseases is to be capable of seeing the energy and dramatically changing the energy, which changes the physical situation. I soon discovered that I could not heal a person that did not want to be healed, nor could I work with energy that did not want to be worked with from an outside force.

Since my first forages into “energy work” I have learned how to interact with many forms of energy. In most cases any energy that is open to being healed can be healed. Some people do not want to be healed because their future plans are already made and set in place. Conquering pain is a major focus for many people, which can change the entire focus of their disease outcome.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

I Love Rocks

I love rocks. I have always loved rocks. I remember my mother wondering why I was always picking up rocks and carrying them with me when I was a small child. My sister and I used to wander the farm and beyond, roaming the woods until we came upon one of our favorite places, a beautiful river where we swam. The water was deep in this spot, with a sandy bottom loose with pebbles. It was one of our favorite places to enjoy the beauty and peace of nature. As much as I love flowers, I have a special affinity with rocks. The minerals within us are part of our chemical relationship to Earth as our home, and rocks are a wonderful image of layers of minerals that have grown into different forms over millenia, just as we have evolved as consciousness into our human form. The Earth supports us in our physical strength, as we eat from nature, drink pure water, breathe fresh air, and enjoy the beauty of nature in all forms.

We are one with nature in the identical way that we are one with the Universe and Earth. When we destroy the natural hierarchy of nature we destroy the natural hierarchy of our body and mind. Learning to honor our body, mind and spirit must be our first step forard in correcting disease. When we intellectually accept our soul memory and spirit influence, we will change our behavior towards our physical balance and toward the physical balance of nature.